This Fall, Learn How To Pay It Fashion Forward. You Don’t Have To Be Rich, Just Sober

Something divinely auspicious happened to me this fall. I was digging through my closet and planning for the onset of colder temperatures when I realized it was time to “let go and let God”. I made a giant pile of nice clothes, clothes I wore and loved, and put them in the Goodwill pile. And then I happily donated them. I am talking about real wool sweaters, vests I have worn a hundred times, jackets in shades of olive green, and even a faux Burberry print shawl I’d been holding onto for years. I realized that this November my favorite things were upcycled, used, vintage pieces I had purchased at the Goodwill myself…and it was time to give back and go full circle.

What the Faux from head to toe?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am loving some of the new items I splurged on this year. There is a wide array of faux leather pieces that are available in stores this season that are affordable and serve to create a look that is both edgy and classic. I shamelessly own enough faux leather to wear it head-to-toe on multiple occasions and I’m really digging it. However, when I say I “splurged” folks, I mean I picked out some beautiful pieces last July because they were otherwise out of my price range when in season.  

During an unprecedented heatwave in the PNW, I was buying leather pants, wool wraps, and big furry jackets. I am not kidding.  My husband asked me if I was leaving him to join an Iditarod team in Alaska. Can we say future tripping? In this instance, I highly recommend it. Buying items off-season is one of my favorite fashion hoarding tricks. However, it does take some discipline. It’s hard to shop for merino wool while you are in a bikini sipping a mocktail. And yet somehow, I manage to do it every year because I know I will be delighted to pull the garment out when the weather shifts.

I know who I am

I am undoubtedly at a fascinating stage in both my recovery and my creative journey.  Why? Because I know who I am, and I am no longer afraid of it. I once heard someone joke that “people with two years sober seem to know it all.”  Well, I far surpassed that and still felt wobbly about my identity.  However, as I get closer to earning my four-year degree in sober living, I find I have wandered into a rather divine space.  I am 100% sure of what I stand for. My eyes light up in almost every color. It could be the increased blood circulation to my brain or simply my teen spirit. I can’t decide.  I just know that pretty much anything looks good on me if it makes me feel beautiful and alive.  Therefore, I am more adventurous about what I buy and where it comes from. I don’t mind it its last season, last decade, or even if it was the epitome of someone else’s last goodwill pile.

If these boots could talk

I love the story that pre-worn clothes and accessories tell. “If these boots could talk”. I love that someone else felt beautiful in a garment and wore it to a special occasion. Bed bugs you ask. I’m not worried. I was on a steady diet of ethanol for two decades; I am not getting taken out by a microscopic insect. Really. I used to wreak havoc on my body. I can handle a few cooties. (And I have an amazing dry cleaner.)

Nonetheless, I often think about how excited I am when I find a “treasure” at the Goodwill or Value Village.  I want someone else to feel that excitement when they score my old clothes. It’s sort of like putting your generosity out into the universe. It manifests a return on investment. Furthermore, I am changing at a rapid pace. This year I am not the same person I was last year. I think everyone in recovery feels that way.

Think back to early sobriety. Ugh. Or better yet, if you are newly sober or sober curious, think back to Friday night. You are already changing. Your mindset is already shifting. Toss that old sh*t out. You don’t have to be rich, just sober. The money you save on booze will afford you the ability to buy a new $5 jacket and $3 shirt that says…. I AM FREAKIN’ ONE YEAR SOBER!  And you will find yourself with extra time to dig through discount racks of goods because you won’t be drinking your day away. Winning!

Reinvent yourself…over and over

It’s ok to reinvent the damn wheel. You get to build the wagon that is going to carry you through this life, and you also get to design the journey. I do it all the time. If last year I didn’t show up for myself in a way that I wanted in some area of my life, I work on my inside and my out. I toss out a blouse that says, underconfident and over apologetic. I throw out a pair of jeans that were too tight and yet managed to make me feel small on the inside. Scrap the earrings that were painful to wear and remind me of their clatter against the phone while I carried on a painful conversation.  Labels I won’t be wearing this year: Social Pariah, Victim, Offensive Coordinator, or Scared Sh*tless. Can you imagine if that was a store? 24-hour coins are half off. I kid.

All I am saying is don’t be afraid to throw out stuff that isn’t serving you and buy “new.”  You are allowed to change. And as you go through phases of your sober journey, it’s perfectly ok to broadcast those changes in your dress and appearance. In fact, I find it extremely cathartic.  As Miuccia Prada says, “Fashion is instant language.” What are your clothes saying about you? How are you going to dress your soul?   I try to weave this notion into the way I show up for people and the way I show up for myself. I want my outside appearance to match the glow on my inside.  In other words, Walk Your Talk babes! Yes. You are welcome for the motivational speech. Now get dressed!  I will be right here in the sober section to cheer you on.

Grace & Glam,

Kate

WALK YOUR TALK with Kate Vitela is our section of the site that celebrates fashion and the role it plays in our recovery. Getting ready for life can be just as fun if not more fun, now that we’re sober…because drunk never looks good. 

Resources are available

Resources Are Available

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