SOBER SPOTLIGHT: Melanie Vesey – Comedian, Actress, Writer/Director, Wife, Mom, Dog Mom, and Owner of Promotional Rescue

November 30, 2021

Melanie Vesey is an accomplished comedian, actress, writer/director, and owner of Promotional Rescue. Her comedy special/album Wild Animal is available to watch on Amazon and listen to all major streaming platforms. Melanie’s career has been seen in the New York Times, The New Yorker, Paper Magazine, Playboy, Time Out, and Vanity Fair.

In addition to her recent TV spot as TAZ on DAVE (FX), she’s been seen on Laugh After Dark on Amazon, opened for Marc Maron and Maria Bamford, Tweeted for Tig Notaro, WON round 4 of the U.S. Comedy Contest, and been a comedian of the week on the Jackie Kashian & Laurie Kilmartin podcast.

Noteable Works

Notably, she co-starred with Jim Carrey in the Andy Kaufman biopic “Man on the Moon” and has been seen at the Burbank, Motor City, Palm Springs, and the Ladies Laugh Comedy Festivals. Melanie also co-produces The Antidepressant Comedy Hour for Comedy Hub on Twitch and Make It Rain Comedy.

Trained at the Juilliard School at Lincoln Center, Stella Adler Conservatory in New York City, and The Interlochen Arts Academy, she has a strong foundation for her body of work. Inspired by working with two-time Academy Award-Winner Director Milos Forman and Hal Hartley, Melanie wrote, directed, and produced three short films, official selections at OUTFEST, FAIF, IFFCA, and PCC Film Festivals. Her feature-length script was selected to be 1 of 8 scripts for the OUTFEST Screenwriting Lab. The music video she directed for Ryan Cassata has been viewed over 100,000 times.

As a former Vice President of Public Relations at a boutique record label, Melanie transitioned into opening her Promotions Consulting firm, PromotionalRescue.com, where she helps award-winning independent artists and small business owners grow their audience and visibility through private coaching and workshops.She lives with her brilliant and loving wife, son, and a dog named Fig.

Sober Spotlight Q&A with Melanie Vesey

What’s your Sobriety Date?

April 15, 1994

Favorite Non-Alcoholic Beverage of Choice?

Sugar-Free Red Bull is the blood in my veins, and now that we’re talking about it, I need to crack a new can open.

What’s your favorite #QUITLIT Book?

Do you mean besides the Big Book? I’ll say the Twelve & Twelve. I’ve struggled with the Big Book, especially getting sober at the age of 22. In the chapter “To The Wives,” I can’t even. I find most of the stories in the Big Book weird, but the Twelve & Twelve is just about the steps, and that’s what works.

What advice do you have for someone new to recovery?

Find your tribe. Getting sober at the age of 22, I was terrified of becoming square. I didn’t. I was out at nightclubs, dancing, having a fucking great time. Now don’t get me wrong, there was lots of drama around relationships and money. I was a big-time party girl, and I didn’t want that to change because I was sober. I was fortunate enough to find my people, my tribe, and many of them are still part of my life today.

How does your recovery benefit your career?

Talking about a career can be a very sore subject for me. I wouldn’t have had anything if it wasn’t for my recovery. Originally, I had gone to Julliard to be a ballet dancer. I only made it a year. I couldn’t handle life, especially not life on life terms. So, I decided to go to acting school. But I couldn’t maintain the level of the party life I desired and my classes. It was the second time around at acting school that I almost got kicked out.

So, I got sober to have a career. I came into recovery to get all of those “outside things” and initially ignored that recovery is an inside job. After getting sober, I was given those “outside things.” I’ve had roles in TV shows and movies. I’ve worked with icons like Academy Award winner Jim Cary and Courtney Love. But my career is still not exactly what I want it to be yet, so I still have a lot of feelings on this subject.

How has recovery impacted your family life?

Do you mean the family of origin? I came into recovery hoping it would heal family issues. It hasn’t exactly turned out that way. My parents, who are from the Baby Boomer generation, haven’t found the willingness to change. Recovery has helped our relationships improve, but we still have work to do. It’s challenging. My family of choice, my wife and my son, are the two most incredible humans. Yeah, we have our challenges, but I have great relationships with both of them. Being a mother and a wife is hard. Recovery is the foundation that enables me to show up as the best version of myself. The best I can be. I met my wife and my baby daddy in Alcoholics Anonymous. Recovery gave me a family I didn’t have before.

Let’s talk selfie-care. What do you do to take time for yourself?

I take time. This can be a real challenge with my schedule. It truly helps to be flexible. My schedule changes constantly, Having a creative life means performing at weird random times. Taking care of myself is sometimes hard to do consistently. Meditation doesn’t have to be “A THING” – get it done. Even if it’s just for 2 minutes, Don’t make it a big production; just do it. Half measures have availed me everything! As addicts, we either want to do things perfectly or not at all. Fuck that shit. I need a network of like-minded people around me. This is important. Be preventative with your recovery, and don’t wait until you’re in a crisis. Go to meetings if you feel good or not. Be of service.

Going public with your recovery can be intimidating. What tips or benefits do you have to share?

Going public is not for everyone. It is personal. I did because I am a queer woman; as a young girl in Michigan, growing up in the 70s and 80s, I didn’t see women like me when I was growing up. So I want to pay it forward. I want to be of service to what is possible: long-term recovery, marriage, and orange hair. You can have all the things you really can. Not everyone SHOULD recover out loud because it can be damaging if done incorrectly. The program is almost perfect; it’s the people in the program that are fucking nuts. Many people confuse the two, and it turns people off. I’ve had severe challenges in recovery, but I’ve been frank about it. I hope that my visibility will help someone else that identifies with me.

If you could go backwards and give your newly sober self some advice, what would it be?

At five years sober, I was shot by my girlfriend. I’ve learned that bad things happen to good people and great things happen to terrible people. It happens all of the time. The world doesn’t make sense. When I was told I could have a life “beyond my wildest dreams,” I was sold. But I haven’t experienced that fully. Yes, I’ve gotten what I needed, but not everything that I wanted. My mind wants to tie a bow on my recovery and be done with it, but that’s just not realistic.

Do you have a favorite nonprofit?

Ghetto Rescue FFoundation (GRFF) is a 501c3 nonprofit founded by a group of police, fire and civilian personnel dedicated to helping animals and families in need in the greater Los Angeles area and across four Texas counties.

Ghetto Rescue is how we found Fig, our beloved terrier mutt. Follow along at #figrescuedme

Sober Pop Culture with Melanie Vesey:

Favorite TV shows?

REALITY TV! Every housewife! I can’t get enough. New York, Beverly Hills, Salt Lake, and a new one on Peacock called Girls Trip with a mixture of housewives from different cities. I also loved watching Paris in Love, Bachelor in Paradise, and anything Bachelor Nation. It’s funny because I used to look down on TV, as it wasn’t really for me. I was too busy, and it didn’t work with my lifestyle. I’ve never even seen one single episode of Sex and the City! It’s only been over the last three or four years that I’ve picked up my reality TV addiction.

Do you have a favorite Sober Celeb?

Mmmm…I’ve spent so much time creating verses being entertained – so this was a tricky question to answer because I don’t absorb things in the same way as most people. Famous people don’t make me fan out. I look at them as people and as creators.

I’d say, Marc Maron. He’s older and at the stage of his career that he’s still doing a ton of acting. I would love to be old and on TV. Sign me up for the Golden Girls reboot! I’m not sure I find his recovery as inspiring. He talks openly in his WTF podcast that his brain “pops off” in a different way when he’s “dry.”

What’s on your playlist right now?

My son is 16 years old, so I get a lot of new music recommendations from him. You’ll also find me listening to 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, hip hop, to rock, to pop.

Favorite movies with addiction as part of the storyline?

Syd and Nancy, I loved the punk era in NYC and the drama between the two of them. Their performances are so incredible. Also, I liked Euphoria Season One.

What’s your meditation practice like?

Prayer and meditation are a team. Prayer is god, and meditation is the answering machine. I struggled deeply with my relationship with a higher power. Santa Claus was my 1st higher power. I gave him the list and waited to receive gifts. I’ve been a good girl; where are they at HP? When I got shot, it fractured that relationship. The choreography felt so planned, so Devine, that God had a hand in it and didn’t help me. WTF HP?

My understanding is different now. I know what God did do for me. I was sustained after being shot with no structural damage, and I’m genuinely grateful for that. But I still struggle with trust. It’s hard to have blind faith. It turns out you can do shitty practices and still achieve long-term recovery.

Anything else to add?

The rubber hits the road at three years. That’s really when I committed to this way of living. Five years sober is a defining moment in time. If you hear a big sound, it’s probably your head popping out of your ass.

Being honest with others. You can’t lie about who you are anymore. I have found a God NOT of my own understanding and it still works.

Follow Along with Melanie Vesey in all the social places and digital spaces!

SOBER SPOTLIGHT: This section of our site highlights extraordinary people in recovery. Sober small business owners doin’ their thing gives us all the feels. Who is making a difference in your recovery community? If you know someone we should spotlight please connect with us at [email protected] or DM us on social media. 

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