SOBER SPOTLIGHT: Kayla Lyons, Founder Of @1000Hours Dry, The Dry Life Podcast, And Digital Marketing For The @Reframe_App

March 31, 2021

Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to sit down via Zoom to do a Sober Spotlight interview with Kayla Lyons, creator of the 1000 Hours Dry Challenge. Kayla’s alcohol free journey started in July of 2016 after a year of sober curiosity and trying out 12 step rooms. She explained to me that her drug of choice was pills and that alcohol came in at a close second. Labeling herself the blackout queen, Kayla explained she started drinking at the age of 15.

That’s a normal age to start experimenting, right? Well for Kayla, she went from zero to 100 right from the start. There were always consequences, legal troubles, and suspensions. Party Girl Kayla continued on this inebriated journey for six to seven years. Like most college students, Kayla wasn’t partying every day, but the pills had become a daily maintenance for her. Although she only drank “socially”, it quickly landed her into more legal troubles and hospitalizations.

Making Rules She Couldn’t Keep

Kayla started making lots of rules that pertained to her alcohol and drug use. Nothing ever stuck. After a few trial runs at AA (the nickname for Alcoholics Anonymous), Kayla decided it just wasn’t for her. Later, surrounding herself by hard drinkers, she found her people. Being around heavy (heavy) drinkers made her feel better about herself. Heavy drinkers never questioned her choices or behaviors. Birds of a feather flock together and in this case it was passed out, blacked out birds of a feather.

Greek life was her jam. Kayla mastered the art of partying, but wasn’t really showing up for any of her college courses. Small town college life leads to lots of drinking, field parties, and attending Virginia Tech Football games loaded. Kayla was arrested and 5150’d twice.

What does 5150 Mean?

5150 refers to the California law code for the temporary, involuntary psychiatric commitment of individuals who present a danger to themselves or others due to signs of mental illness. It has been more generally applied to people who are considered threateningly unstable or “crazy.”

The 5150 house kept her there for three days and she recollects she was on probation for at least five years straight. Her choices? Go to jail or go to treatment. Kayla talked candidly about how naïve she was on the seriousness of her issues. One of her best friends had racked up four DUIs, but she since didn’t have any she just assumed things weren’t that bad. “I just have a really bad temper” Kayla explained. “I’m manipulative AF.”

White Privilege

Kayla went on to explain how many things she got away with, likely due to her pretty face and white skin. If she had been male or a POC, without a doubt she knows she would have gone to jail. All she ever got was community service. It’s also why she kept going and going and going.

She ended up at Promises Behavioral Treatment Center in LA and realized the patients there were “her people”. This was when she finally started to really identify as an addict. She still didn’t love AA and she still didn’t believe she was an alcoholic. But everything Kayla does, she does 100%. Deciding to make the most of it, she got a sponsor and stayed sober for five months. The seed was planted but nothing was really growing yet.

Her first relapse after that five month stint got her 5150’d again. She proceeded to be in and out of recovery for the next year. On July 22nd, 2016 Kayla finally surrendered after another traumatic incident. Her Grandparents were dying, yet she continued to make everything about her. Five margarita’s deep, she arrived in an Uber to her Grandparents hospice. Kayla went on to talk about breaking into their room to kiss them good-bye and proceeding to pass out on the floor.

Forrest Fires and Puking into a McDonald’s Cup

Losing them was basically losing the only real support she had left. All of her friends were gone by this point and her BF at the time was a meth addict. Leaving hospice and driving back to LA should have been a two hour drive. However, there were forest fires at that time, which turned the drive into a five hour journey. She was coming down off the drugs and booze and started having panic attacks. She distinctly remembers throwing up into her McDonald’s cup.

This was a very low, low, low point for her. Looking back, Kayla explains that it was actually a God shot or her burning bush experience. The Universe dropped her some spiritual “McNuggets”. Die or do something different. These were her clear choices. So, she went to a meeting.

Kayla was able to stay abstinent for three and half years. In the last year and a half, she admits to having some “slips”or what she also likes to refer to as mindful drinking. She didn’t like living her life in fear of alcohol. Kayla refers to this as experimentation with moderation. Thankfully, her violent streak has been removed. Using booze as a coping mechanism just isn’t there anymore.

Kayla’s Thoughts on Drinking

Her choices to drink now usually come up around celebratory occasions. And when they do, her sobriety tool kit is there. She’s finding that her temptations are more due to the overconfidence or romancing of the first drink. FOMO is a real thing for Kayla. She tries to be as transparent about her recovery journey as possible. She doesn’t believe she has to “start over” after a slip.

Kayla refuses to live in shame or a fear based life. She went on to explain how she has friends with eating disorders. If they have a lapse with a binge purge that doesn’t make them anorexic again. Why does it have to be so black and white? I empathized with her thoughts on this. Personally for me, it has to be black or white. If I pick up that first drink, I don’t know when or if I’ll make it back into recovery. That said, it took me a long time to get to this point. And, I can respect that each person has their own journey and their own recovery path. Kayla’s goal is to make space for the 50 shades of recovery gray. For her, restrictions are too dangerous. Kayla talked about her other issues, including OCD. Self sabotage takes over. These days, she practices being kind to herself.

Kayla Gets Social

In April 2019, Kayla started focusing on being a social media influencer. “BARF! Don’t judge me for my typical LA Influencer style!” she declares. We both had a chuckle. Her niche was health and wellness. She described herself as a personal trainer and basic LA girl. She had long since left AA and claims she had evolved out of it. Kayla was sick of the meetings and wanted to spend her time going back to school.

Kayla was ready to focus on her sobriety but in a different way. Making this decision came with consequences. The support of her AA circle basically stopped. Telling me about her AA tattoo, she told me she was trying to find sober people that didn’t go to meetings. But where on earth would she began to look for these people?

Over time, her sobriety slowly started to creep into her Instagram, in large part due to the health benefits basically everyone that gives up alcohol feels. She started connecting with other sober influencers she was following on Instagram. Kayla decided it would be fun to do a 1000 days sober challenge as a fun way to get her followers involved. Having 20K followers at the time, the message of staying sober for 1000 seemed manageable. 42 days is an attainable goal. She believed that her sober curious followers might consider joining her quest.

@1000HoursDry Was Born

Kayla posted a picture with balloons for the challenge and was hopeful that maybe 20 people would join in. She made even made goodie bags to gift out. Quickly the number jumped into the 100s, then over 500. It grew and it grew and it grew, too fast. It really just took on a life of it’s own. Overtime she created the program that she has today. Admitting she didn’t feel inspirational every day, she started asking people to host certain days of the Instagram account. She wanted 1000 Hours to be a community on it’s own and not have it be about her. (Even though she also openly admits to her narcissist tendencies.) The 1000 Hours Community flourish quickly and then she had to ask herself – now what?

Continuing to connect with people, Kayla developed two guides over a three month period. It can’t just be about abstinence she said. She explained the guides are accountability guides, that include cognitive therapy, visualization, and trauma work. Writing down visualizations on what she wanted her day to look like really helped her. Having played lacrosse in her younger years, she talked about her memory of her coach. Her coaches would have her and her teammates lay day before a game and visualize the game. She takes that same approach with her recovery.

Prepare. Be in gratitude. Learn about your triggers and character defects. Build out your coping mechanisms and get into the why of your behaviors. This is how she’s developed her program that has helped so many. Which got her to thinking, how could she make it better and more accessible?

Big Things Ahead for Kayla Lyons

Kayla aims to provide free access to support and is also adding in solution based meetings. She currently has over 80+ hosts around the country. She isn’t getting paid to do any of this work. The opportunity for hosts is to be of service to others. She referenced this as being similar to AA commitments. People come up through her program and then leave and go and start their own thing. She mentioned Sarah from New Fashioned Sobriety as one of these examples.

Sober Curator Fun Fact: Back in November 2020, I actually attended one of the New Fashioned Sobriety virtual events and I had THE BEST TIME! You can read all about it HERE.

 

Social Media Tips & Tricks

1000 Hours Dry Members can get a crash course 101 on how to run a social media account. Teaching them how to use Canva, analytics, and very simple basic Instagram basics. Kayla Lyons doesn’t need or even want people to stay around forever. In fact, she candidly told me she questions why anyone would stay in AA for over 10 years. Her goal is to help people build a foundation and then watch them go and live their own lives.

What’s Next for Kayla Lyons?

Kayla is now working with the Reframe App, which basis is quitting alcohol based on science. She explains, you can’t make anyone be sober, but you can give them the resources to help themselves. One thing is for sure, Kayla clearly does put herself 100% into anything she sets her mind to do.

The Sober Spotlight section of our site highlights extraordinary people in recovery. Sober small business owners doin’ their thing gives us all the feels. We also spotlight brands that cater to sober living and give back to recovery. Who is making a difference in your recovery community? If you know someone we should spotlight please connect with us.

Q & A with Kayla Lyons:

Favorite Alc-Free Beverage?

Kayla said she loves Curious Elixirs No. 1 and No. 4. (I agreed with her on No. 4)

Favorite Quitlit?

Kayla laughed and said she hadn’t read any. She did talk a bit about the books she’s studying in consumer psychology. Biology of Desire by Mark Lewis on why addiction is not a disease.

Selfie-Care Practice:

Exercise but don’t over do it. Covid basically ruined my routine. She gives herself one day a week to go off social media completely. Loves to treat herself to a mani, pedi, or massage. Stress plays out to her in a very physical way. Green Juice is her jam and yes, she knows that’s some California Hippie Shit. LOL

Fav Nonprofit:

Road Dogs and Rescues is her favorite. They rescue bulldogs and bring them in from Korea saving them from meat festivals. Kayla loves to walk dogs and fosters when she can. Meet Winston Benedict Murphy, Kayla’s newest addition to her family.

Guilty Pleasure:

Bravo Salt Lake City

Favorite Movie or TV Show?

Euphoria and Greys Anatomy – specifically Charlotte King’s character

Sober Curator Pro Tip: If you haven’t seen the Euphoria Special Episode: Trouble Don’t Last Always on HBO Max, we highly recommend watching this one hour special. Even if you never saw Season One.

Play it Again! What’s on Your Playlist?

I love Leon Berners and Cat Stevens. 60s and 70s music is really my jam. I’m not modern at all when it comes to music.

Advice to anyone considering going public on social media with their recovery?

Rigorous Honesty. Don’t feel like you have to post every day and be inspiring all of the time. That gets old and it’s not authentic. People love transparency and honesty. Remember, nobody really cares. They’re too busy thinking about themselves.

What advice would you go back and give your newly sober self?

It’s going to be ok. You can do hard things. You can get through all of this. Just hang in there. She went on to talk about her severe anxiety and panic disorders. I am capable, I am strong. I can do things I’m afraid of. These are Kayl’s mantras. Keep a growth mindset. Stay open to unconditional evolution.

At the end of our time together, Kayla also wanted to make sure I knew she wanted to put a disclaimer on all of this. She could change her mind at any time. On any of it. This is how she practices staying open to her own personal growth and evolution.

Where to Find Kayla Lyons in All the Places

the sober curator email list CTA
Resources Are Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

Resources are available

Resources Are Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

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