Saying Goodbye to a Sponsor by Sober Curator Ryan Burg

September 16, 2023

In the world of recovery and self-improvement, sponsors play an essential role in guiding individuals through the tumultuous journey of change. Traditionally, sponsors provide support, wisdom, and a listening ear. 

I love my sponsor. He calls me when I am upset. I talk to him at length about my program and how I’m keeping sober while taking long walks on the beach. Sharing dinners with him is often a joy, as he’s willing to try anything I make.  

And today I have to put him down.

My sponsor – one of them anyway – is Spock, my loyal canine companion.

I can’t begin to express my gratitude for Spock, who has been there for me in ways I never anticipated. He may not understand the intricacies of addiction or recovery, but his unwavering presence and unique quirks have made a world of difference in my life.

Spock’s support extends beyond the typical sponsor’s duties. He has an uncanny ability to sense when I’m upset or struggling. Whether it’s a stressful day working from home or a challenging Zoom call, he intervenes with his own brand of comfort. Picture this: a serious business meeting, and suddenly, Spock decides it’s the perfect time to zoom bomb, sticking his face into the camera frame. Laughter ensues, tension dissipates, and the moment is transformed.

His antics, though often disruptive, serve a purpose. They remind me not to take life too seriously, to find joy in unexpected places, and to prioritize the present moment. Spock’s timing might not be impeccable, but his intentions are pure.

So, why Spock? We named him after the iconic character from Star Trek due to his distinctive pointy ears. However, unlike the logical Vulcan, Spock’s actions are anything but logical. He’s smart in his own way, especially when it comes to recognizing our shared needs. He’s mastered the art of locating the hidden leash, ensuring that I take him for walks. These walks serve as our mutual therapy sessions, where I listen to sobriety-themed podcasts and meetings on tape, and he explores his world.

There’s an inexplicable connection between our walks and my serenity. Afterward, I often experience the same comforting sense of ease that I get from attending a 12 Step meeting. Spock, in his own unique way, reinforces the importance of staying connected to my recovery.

However, as time has passed, Spock’s physical abilities have declined. A devastating diagnosis of bladder cancer changed everything. My family and I decided to provide palliative care for our senior dog, who we believe is around 13 years old. And today, we escort him across the rainbow bridge.

Letting go has always been a struggle for me. Control is something I’ve grappled with throughout my recovery journey. It turns out that one of the greatest lessons a sponsor can teach their sponsee is the art of letting go. Spock embodies this lesson as he faces his own health challenges with grace and dignity.

Throughout my recovery, I’ve relied on Spock as a confidant when I couldn’t talk to my human sponsor or family. After our conversations, he’d look at me, as if to say, “Do you have any cheese? I could really go for some cheese right now.” While I’ve never fed my human sponsor cheese, it seems to work wonders for Spock.

In many ways, Spock’s exuberant greetings upon my return home mirror the welcoming spirit of newcomers in a 12 Step meeting. While I wouldn’t advise licking newcomers (it’s generally frowned upon), for dogs like my sponsor, it’s an expression of pure love and enthusiasm.

As I reflect on my journey, I realize that recovery comes in unexpected forms. Spock, my furry, illogical, and loving sponsor, has taught me valuable lessons about living in the moment, letting go of control, and finding joy amidst life’s challenges. In his own unique way, he has been a vital part of my path to sobriety, reminding me that support and inspiration can come from the most unlikely sources.

As we take him to his final frontier, I think of our journey together and how Spock has impacted my newly sober life. I am reminded of what William Shatner said at the end of Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan;

James T. Kirk: [paraphrases ‘A Tale of Two Cities’] “It’s a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before. A far better resting place I go to, than I have ever known.”

I will miss you, Spock. Thank you for helping me stay sober one more day.

 

Reasons Why Pet Ownership is Great for People in Recovery

In the early years of recovery, it can be a full-time task just to take care of ourselves, let alone other living creatures. However, pets can be an important source of comfort and support. Let’s take a look at the reasons why getting a pet might be helpful to your recovery journey.

  • Pet ownership cures loneliness! Working on human relationships can take its toll. Fur babies love you unconditionally!

  • They don’t judge you (except maybe if you cheap out on their treats)

  • Pets help you develop your own sense of self-worth and self-esteem

  • Let’s get physical! Pets need exercise, just like you do, which means they will help keep you active.

  • Ice breakers!Pets facilitate social contact. People love animals and you might find yourself making new friends at the park or when you’re out for a walk.

  • Fills your time productively. Pets need constant attention and love, which means you won’t be left with too much free time on your hands to get into trouble.

  • Pets get you out of your own head. When you’re focused on taking care of your pet, you have less time to worry about yourself and the unmanageability that you might be facing.

  • Teaches Commitment. Pets are a huge commitment and the payoff is worth it. They love you unconditionally and that feels pretty great. That said, before getting a pet, make sure to understand all of the expenses, time, and energy that come with responsible pet ownership. Pet ownership isn’t for everyone and shouldn’t be a decision you make impulsively.

  • Pets reduce stress. In many cases, pets can reduce stress. What’s more calming than cuddling up with your four-legged fur buddy and binging on Netflix?

  • Keep you on a schedule. Pets, just like kids, do best when they follow a schedule and regular routine. If you’re new in recovery, you may not be great with keeping to a regular schedule. Pets are good at training humans.

  • LOVE LOVE LOVE Did we mention the unconditional love?

SOBER SPORTS: Welcome to Sober Sports with Ryan Burg! Sober Sports is our section of the site that is dedicated to promoting sobriety and wellness through sports and fitness. The section features articles, interviews, and personal stories from athletes and fitness enthusiasts who are committed to living a healthier, alcohol-free lifestyle. By highlighting the benefits of sober living and the role that sports and fitness can play in achieving and maintaining sobriety, Sober Sports is changing the way we think about wellness and encouraging a more positive and empowering approach to recovery.

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

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