Five Ways to Survive St. Paddy’s Without the Sauce (From a Girl Who Knows)

Ahhh, St. Patrick’s Day. It’s every active alcoholic’s wet dream. It’s the one day a year when getting drunk is celebrated rather than scolded, where everyone around you is guaranteed to be as much of a sloppy mess as you are, and shots are handed out like lollipops at the doctor’s office. For an alcoholic in recovery, however, it can be the day that most fill you with dread, with the first one most certainly being the hardest. The brain busts and the heartaches at what to do to grapple with this Kelly-green 800-pound gorilla of a sobriety nightmare. While you can’t exactly snag a pass for a 24-hour induced coma, there are some ways that you can spend the dreaded yearly Guinness binge that will make it slightly easier to bear.

1. Evacuate the Irish car bomb blast zone

While a geographic change is not the answer to getting sober, making a temporary one can be the secret to staying sane if you live in a place where March 17th will mean a sea of stumbling green. If you’re newly sober and want to endure neither temptation nor depression, your best move for drunk Christmas may very well be to take a day trip or long weekend away. You’re looking for somewhere peaceful and meditative, somewhere far from all the shillelagh-wielding madness. Head to the boonies, head to the beach, head anywhere that wouldn’t be a desirable place for someone in shamrock sunglasses to go to funnel a Killian’s. Take in the tranquil surroundings and use that time to appreciate the serenity you feel now that you’re in sobriety, something you never would’ve allowed yourself in the St. Paddy’s days gone by.

2. Break up with St. Patrick

There are some life changes in sobriety that you are simply not going to get past unless you let yourself properly mourn. For you, not getting to participate in this high holy day-o-drinking may be one of them. While it isn’t a good idea to wallow, a day of staying in and doing a little break-up-style self-care may be just what the leprechaun ordered. Have some food delivered, watch that movie that you’re always embarrassed to admit that you like, have a good shower cry. Think of the partying as that person you dated for a while who you’re not seeing anymore. It’s okay, often even necessary, for you to acknowledge that you miss them and feel bad that your days of being together are done. Let yourself soothe that heartbreak by staying in with some TLC and before long your penchant for wildin’ out in four-leaf clover coveralls won’t even seem like your type anymore.

3. Enjoy all other things “Erin go Bragh!”

Being an Irish-American girl from Boston, the thought of a sober St. Patrick’s Days for me was particularly perilous. On top of not participating in the whisky Olympics, I felt as though I was missing out on celebrating my culture. My first sober St. Paddy’s out in the world I was heartbroken over the thought of not getting to be a participant in the celebration of all things Kelly green. That’s when I realized: do you know how much there is to enjoy about Irish culture other than drinking? A fuck ton! Irish stereotypes paired with Americans’ raging boner for booze has made getting plastered the overwhelmingly main focus of the holiday, but there is so much else to celebrate about the jolly ol’ Emerald Isle, fair-skinned with freckles or not.

There is absolutely nothing stopping you from donning your best scally cap, baking some soda bread, and curling up with the likes of Oscar Wilde and James Joyce while you listen to some harp-laden traditional ballads. You could gather some people together for a good old-fashioned corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes-in-a-pot boiled dinner. You could even use the day to brush up on your Irish history (the 1500s are where it really starts to get interesting). The mind boggles with how many ways you could lean into all things Ireland without even the crack of a beer.

4. Lean into the “Saint” part

If you’re in recovery, there’s a good chance that your ghost of St. Patrick’s Day past would tell stories of some less than upstanding shenanigans on your part. This, the official day of drunken debauchery, doesn’t exactly bring out the best in those who partake. With that in mind, why not use the fact that you’re showing up sober for it now to even out the karmic scales a bit? Homeless shelters, soup kitchens, and food banks are always looking for volunteers and St. Patrick’s Day is no exception. You could even dress up like a leprechaun and make the day of some residents at a nursing home. Being there for those in need is an excellent way to warm your soul and theirs, and it will help you to appreciate just how much you’ve grown and have to offer now compared to your previous March 17ths.

5. Ensure your safety with numbers

As with any difficult day in sobriety, the most important thing above all else is that you acknowledge that it’s a hard day and reach out for support accordingly. Having other sober people to lean on, both those who have been through it and can give you a shoulder and those who are also new and will be leaning right-back is essential in getting through tricky times like this. Accordingly, make sure to have a support plan. Have phone numbers at the ready for if and when that itch starts to twitch. Be prepared with a few meetings you can attend if you start to feel overwhelmed and need some group-style serenity. Trust in the support of others, take deep breaths, and remind yourself that, just like every other difficult day in sobriety, you will get through this.

Follow along with Shea Spillane on IG @sheaspillane

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